Eavesdroppers?

Courtesy WOOT!
Things to say when you know a bystander is eavesdropping:

• “I’m on my way home, so put on that slinky little negligee I like, Dad.”
• “The people at the rendering plant are starting to ask uncomfortable questions.”
• “Put five large on the Maple Leafs to win it all.”
• “I don’t care what people say. I’ll never believe Michael Jordan could do that to those puppies.”
• “Please, baby. If you’ll just come back to me, I’ll never ask you to do that in front of strangers ever again.”
• “I just wanted to tell you goodbye before I martyr myself. May God strike down the infidels.”
• “Yeah, yeah, yeah – the doctors keep telling me I’m contagious, too.”
• “Man, that deal-a-day web site is the perfect front for laundering our cocaine profits.”